Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Light and Hard ->

Whats the difference between light and hard??? You can go to sleep with the light on!!!... [ca造 ->]

How shit happens! ->

In The Beginning was The Plan. And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without form And the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness was upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves, saying... "It ... [ca造 ->]

Blonde ->

Did you hear about the blonde that got fired from the M&M factory? She threw away all the w's... [ca造 ->]

Why White? ->

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well... [ca造 ->]

Sun Roofs ->

Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room.... [ca造 ->]

Two guys who wanted to pick up women ->

Vito and Vladimir There were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Vito) and the other was Russian (Vladimir). Vito had no problem picking up gorgeous women; he was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladimir had no... [ca造 ->]

Butter and Blonde ->

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? A: Butter is difficult to spread.... [ca造 ->]

Insults ->

You're so ugly, yo momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with you. Yo momma's so fat that the last time that she wore a T-shirt with a X on it a helicopter tried to land on her. Your dog is so dumb that if yo... [ca造 ->]

Congressional Question? ->

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?... [ca造 ->]

On the right track? ->

A brunette was walking on the railroad tracks saying, "21... 21.... 21...." when a blonde jumped on. A train came and the brunette jumped off...the train hit the blonde. The Brunette then got back onto the tracks and started saying, "22.....22..... [ca造 ->]

Real idiots of society! ->

Here are some people who should not be allowed to venture into society: Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his... [ca造 ->]

Hard of Hearing Genie ->

OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box". The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer." So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out ... [ca造 ->]

I'm Cured! ->

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I'll beat the sh... [ca造 ->]

Insurance Claim ->

(name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345 Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016 Dear Sir: This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent... [ca造 ->]

For Dad's with Daughters! (Long) ->

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding ... [ca造 ->]