Jokes / Miscellaneouss
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Cool Bumper Stickers! ->
1) God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. 2) I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. 3) I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. 4) Keep honking while I reload. 5) Taxation WITH representation isn't so... [ca³y ->]
Daffynitions! ->
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a Italian bullfighter tries to do. Baloney uh-lo'-nee: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette urn'-a-det: The act of tor... [ca³y ->]
Diet for Stress ->
Diet for Stress How's your stress level? This should help. It is more than a diet, so read on... This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz.... [ca³y ->]
Truisms! ->
* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. * For every action, there is an equal and oppo... [ca³y ->]
Unusual State Laws ->
Connorsvill,Wisconsin: It is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. Willowdale, Oregon: It is illegal for husbands to curse during sex. Oblong, Illinois: It is punishable by law to make love while hunting... [ca³y ->]
VanGogh Family ->
Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lessor known ones... The grandfather who moved to Yugoslavia ........ U. Gogh The brother who bleached all his clothes white .. Hue Gogh The sister who wore a mini s... [ca³y ->]
Very Short Books ->
Very Short Books... 1) Outdoor activities in Chernobyl 2) Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens 3) Investment opportunities in worm futures for the deceased 4) Ballerina lessons for men with size 13 or larger feet 5) Def... [ca³y ->]
Very Short Lists ->
Very Short Lists: 1) List of Golf Courses that do not allow Doctors 2) List of all night Gay women's bars in Iran 3) List of DR's who do gratis Brain Surgery 4) List of Hospitals with Drive-Thru window Service 5) List of Home cures for Ebola V... [ca³y ->]
Vincent Van Gogh's relatives: ->
After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti... [ca³y ->]
Warning Labels On Booze! ->
THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF POUNDING A PINT OR TWO. 1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a bu... [ca³y ->]
Way to have FUN while shopping! ->
Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these... Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!" Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible". When an announ... [ca³y ->]
What my Mom taught me ->
All the things my mother taught me: My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the car... [ca³y ->]
Why, why, Tell me WHY? ->
WHY ? ...... 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he f... [ca³y ->]
Words of wisdom ->
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met OK, so what's the ... [ca³y ->]
Words of Wisdom ->
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. * For every action, there is an equal and oppo... [ca³y ->]