Jokes / Miscellaneouss

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Meet the Schitt Family! ->

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt, Awe Schitt the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Knee-deep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced 6 children. Holy Schitt, their first, passed ... [ca³y ->]

Meet the Schitts! ->

You don't know Jack Schitt! When someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", well, now you'll know the entire story. Jack Schitt was the only son of Owe Schitt and Awe Schitt. Owe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran... [ca³y ->]

Money from Minsk ->

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. "Can I help you?" the madam asked. "I want Natalie," the old man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, p... [ca³y ->]

Naughty Emicons! ->

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :o) and :o( respectively. Well, how about some "assicons"? Here's a few: (_!_) a regular ass (__!... [ca³y ->]

No rest on this island ->

A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island. The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have ... [ca³y ->]

One for dirty minds! ->

The Gutter-Mind Test! 1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? 2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, h... [ca³y ->]

One life saved... ->

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below. He thought to himself, "L... [ca³y ->]

Philly Cops ->

Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The ... [ca³y ->]

Say Again? ->

A numbers mob was looking for a runner to pick up betting cash in a new location( A very rich area - Expected around $200,000 in cash daily ). A man was chosen but never showed up with the cash. Mr. Big asked the guy in charge of finding the runner, ... [ca³y ->]

Tattoo Parlour ->

A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted. He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart". Sh... [ca³y ->]

The best memory ->

Who Has The Best Memory? Three guys are debating who has the best memory. First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade class." Second guy says, "I can remember my first day at Nursery School!" Not to be outdone, the thi... [ca³y ->]

The damn ham ->

Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham." She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHE... [ca³y ->]

The man buying farm animals...woo-hoo! ->

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it." The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an as... [ca³y ->]

The Missionary! ->

A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island knew nothing of civilized culture. The missionary decided that it would be in the natives ... [ca³y ->]

The new father! ->

A doctor was holding a new baby that he had just delivered. The baby looked up at him and said, "Are you my father?" The doctor said, "No, I am the doctor that delivered you." Then the doctor handed the baby to the nurse. While the nurse wa... [ca³y ->]