Jokes / Animals

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New dinosaur found! ->

Q: What do you get when you mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A: A Lickalotapuss!... [ca³y ->]

No Brakes ->

Did you ever hear about Blitzen the Brown nosed reindeer? He is twice as fast as Rudolf but doesn't stop as quick!... [ca³y ->]

Pantyhose ->

Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two calves, many hares, one ass and a beaver!... [ca³y ->]

Rooster and Peanut Butter ->

What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth!... [ca³y ->]

Skunks ->

What do you call a pair of skunks that are 69'ing? OdorEaters!!!... [ca³y ->]

Soup you don't want to eat ->

What do you call a masterbating bull? Beef strokin'off.... [ca³y ->]

The Best Time? ->

When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg.... [ca³y ->]

The Walrus ->

Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties? To find a tight Seal.... [ca³y ->]

What do you call a dog... ->

What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles? SPARKY!!!... [ca³y ->]

What do you call a gay dinosaur? ->

What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasorass.... [ca³y ->]

A Hippo What? ->

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was. The first said, "The meanest animal in the world is a Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone." The second shook h... [ca³y ->]

Bad Dog! ->

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg. The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit. A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn... [ca³y ->]

Bear and Squirrel ->

Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. "Hmmm" says the bear to the squirrel, "Do you find that shit tends to stick to your fur?" "Yes it does" replies the squirrel. "Great!" says the bear, and wipes his ass with th... [ca³y ->]

Bill The Duck ->

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick." The pharmacist asks the duck, "Will that be cash or charge?" The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill." The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says... [ca³y ->]

Bloodied Vampire ->

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to... [ca³y ->]