Jokes / Sex

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Confucius Sex ->

Confucious say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Man who stand on toilet high on pot. It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl! Man who jizz in cash register come into money. Man who drop watc... [ca造 ->]

How They "Do It" ->

Accountants do it with Double Entry Acupuncturists do it with a small prick Ambulance drivers come quicker Australians do it Down Under Bach did it using the organ Bankers do it with interest Bartenders do it on the Rocks Batman does it using ... [ca造 ->]

Many Sayings On Love And Sex ->

"Don't worry. I've had a vasectomy/hysterectomy." "I won't come in your mouth, I promise." "I'm not really married." "It's only a cold sore." "Looks aren't important to me. I like you for your personality." "Size isn't important." "This won't h... [ca造 ->]

Murphy's Laws on Sex ->

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2. Nothing improves with age. 3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. 4... [ca造 ->]

Odd One Out ->

Q which is the odd one out A refridgerator A washing machine A TV or A woman A. The TV because all the others leak when they're fucked!... [ca造 ->]

Pick-Up Lines Galore! ->

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. (Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes. Nice legs....what time do they open? Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. You've... [ca造 ->]

Slogans for Safe Sex! ->

21 Slogans To Help Promote Safe Sex 1. Cover your stump before you hump 2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3. Don't be silly, protect your willy 4. When in doubt, shroud your spout 5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6. You can't g... [ca造 ->]

The Rules Of Bedroom Golf! ->

***The Rules Of Bedroom Golf!*** 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club ... [ca造 ->]

Things not to say during sex! ->

Things Not To Say During Sex Girls shouldn't say: You woke me up for that? Do you smell something burning? Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Try not to smear my make-up,... [ca造 ->]

TOP 10 reasons fishing beats sex! ->

TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX.... 10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK 9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE 8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY 7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD 6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH 5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT ... [ca造 ->]

Top10 reasons trick-or-treating is better than sex! ->

THE Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex: 10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7. You don... [ca造 ->]

Trick-or-treating is better than sex ->

THE TOP TEN REASONS TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX 10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7. You don't ... [ca造 ->]

World's Worst Pick-up Lines... ->

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good. Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be. Can I buy you a drink, or do y... [ca造 ->]

You know you're gay when... ->

You know you're gay when: 1. You wear the appropriate underwear for each of your dates. 2. You understand the subtle differences between at least 20 brands of vodka. 3. You understand the immense importance of good (or bad) lighting. 4. You can... [ca造 ->]

Hellen Keller ->

Why does Hellen Keller use one hand to masturbate? Because she uses the other to moan.... [ca造 ->]